Friday, November 16, 2018

Why bother?

About my colonoscopy today - I'm a little ticked off with life which is unusual for me. I went 18 years of these, every 3 years, without any polyps showing after my cancer. TODAY, they found 2 and sent them for biopsy (I see my other doc for results on the 3rd).

I am eating healthier and healthier by the minute yet this happens... 

I don't see why they found breast cancer and basal cancer last year and polyps this year when I am taking better and better care of myself - why bother????

Of course, by taking care of myself, I am only on ONE pill a day, just ONE - no supplements, no vitamins, just ONE pill - so I guess on one hand I am doing right - still, on the other hand, makes me wonder why I bother (sigh)... 

I'll be okay - just annoyed for a while today 
I fully realize the value of finding these early and having them removed.
I fully realize that for most folks this doesn't become a worry.

But, see, I've BEEN doing these tests, EVERY THREE YEARS, for 18/19 years straight. 
I am so very very tired of it and I had such high hopes that this was the last. I'll be 80, for Pete's sake, next year. 

Now that they've actually found some, that means I'll probably have to do it again in another 3 years (sigh)... but, it is what it is...

Sweet Lord Jesus, you are our healer, our savior. Please forgive me for grumbling just a bit. I am okay with this, really. It was just a momentary glitch. Thank you for always hearing my prayers. Thank you that they found these and will test them. Thank you, that if it is trouble, it was found early. And, and, IF it means I must do it yet again in another three years, so be it. I trust in you!

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