Thursday, August 31, 2017

Giving Thanks for the Things That Keep Me Going

Tonight, I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that keep me going. Now, please understand that there is a point in every life when it is difficult to keep on going. There is a strong tendency to kick back, to stop the clock and stand still. For each of us, that moment differs. I know folks 10 years older than I am who I’m not sure will reach that point in the next 10 years. There are folks I know who reached that point 10 years ago. Age isn’t the deciding factor; life and consequences are.

Anyhow, this week, I have had several days when I felt overwhelmed. It wasn’t because of my regular ongoing issues with constant food prep and constant food decisions, nor with financial issues. What I thought was exhaustion had to do with things I was doing for others.

Take yesterday. I printed our monthly newsletter. The printer only kicks out so many pages at a time, so every so many copies, I must run (well, walk quickly) from the living room to the back bedroom where that dedicated desktop printer is kept, 52 feet away, remove the batch that just printed, hit Print for another batch, and back again. Each round takes about 10 minutes. In between, every other batch requires I also open the drawer and refill the paper tray. This takes almost two hours of movement and attention. And I try to fill the 10 minutes with small tasks.

An hour after that was finished, and I thought I could do something routine and easy, we discovered that a dear friend’s home was broken into while they were out of state. I was the one to call the police. I was the one to stand outside while they made sure the thieves were no longer in that home, to enter with them, to figure out if anything very obvious was missing (the big flat screen tv was gone). I was in contact by email for several hours with my friend on the details. I had the wrong key for the police at first; that meant more running (well, fast walking) back and forth from my home to theirs. It was already hot outside. We’re still in triple digits. Short versions: after more than two hours, up and down steps, in front door and back door, cleaning up glass, I finally got home, popover dress clinging to me as though I were in one of those wet tee-shirt contests. Dove into the shower, I did.

By that time, I felt exhausted. Now, I know I wasn’t, not really. To me, exhausted means unable to move another inch. Frankly, I was tired. But I was still able to work on the rest of a baby jacket and hat for the charity crafters.

Today, most of us in here were doing the Trash Can Minuet. The company servicing our trash decided to automate, providing us last Friday with huge 95-gallon bins. Most us are barely as tall as the bins. Today, they came around, swapping them all out with 65-gallon versions. Up and down our streets, some homes had 2 sizes of 2 bins (regular and recycle), some folks moving one set in, one set out. For me, it also meant scooting over to my neighbor’s to do theirs as well. 

Ten years ago, going up and down the few steps of my mobile home was nothing. These days, it takes its toll on my joints, but not to a damaging degree. Just tiring. I also made a quick run to the store for something for the fur baby and for me. Additionally, I needed to re-organize my newsletter stats and routine. I needed to count out (I weigh them) rubber bands for 4 people and bag and label them for this weekend. I needed to type (do we still say “type”?) instructions, lot numbers, phone numbers, and so on, for her. And, I needed to take two hours to staple the 400+ issues and bag them.

Once again, I felt exhausted but I knew I was simply, understandably tired.

The thing is, there are times when these things have their purpose. I wondered tonight whether I would still be able to “get around” easily at this point in my life if I did not have some of these things to give me a purpose.

We all have different things that keep us going - at some point, it is family, caregiving, jobs, whatever...

Father in heaven, I must take time tonight to thank you for keeping me going. Thank you, also, for the fortitude and stamina to help me accomplish tasks on time and in the right way. Thank you for friends who sometimes need me, and for commitments that give me purpose. Help those I know and love to come easily to you for that fortitude and stamina when they face things that seem exhausting - bless us poor mortals and help us to do your will with grace and dignity and love.

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