Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Once Again, I'm a Little Ashamed of Myself Tonight

Usually, I'm the one who tries to show that faith can conquer all. Or at least it can get us over the bumps on life's road.
Well, today, I did not follow my own advice and example.

I had just started my monthly newsletter "run," and had printed two batches of 32 (6 pages, duplex - the output tray only holds so much), and suddenly I began getting black blotches and smears. I know my way around that printer a little, but no matter what I did, I couldn't get a clean copy. I was really frustrated - and more than a little worried. I had 400 to print, as usual. It normally takes almost 3 hours of printing 32, over and over again. Each round takes about 10 minutes. I fit other little tasks into those 10 minute chunks of time.

But today it was even more stressful, and I'll explain in a few days why that was. I am preparing a little bit of a surprise this month for the folks in our Park, and needed to get that finished, too.

After almost a half hour of fretting, trying everything I knew, I went onto Facebook and was almost in tears, which is not my style. I usually face an issue with a deep breath followed by prayer. This time I never made it to the prayer stage.

Long story short: a friend of mine fixes printers. We talked on the phone. I now understand more about how the toner cartridge and drum work with each other. I needed to replace the drum. I've done this before. Easy. And after that, beautiful copies. All that carrying on for nothing.

The bottom line is that I allowed my emotions to take the place of my faith. I didn't like that feeling at all. When I have enough sense to take that deep breath, then pray, I end up feeling protected and secure. I know at that point that I've turned it over and I just get on with other things while I wait for the answer -

Father in heaven, forgive my childish panic this morning. I do know and trust in your loving compassion. I do know that I can come to you with anything at all, and that you will understand and help. Please watch over this weak mortal and strengthen me when my emotions overwhelm my faith. I trust in you.

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