Monday, January 12, 2015

I’m So Disgusted With Myself Tonight For What I DId

In spite of my first instinct to not attend a service for a friend’s passing this afternoon, I changed my mind and went. On the way home, I lopped off my passenger side mirror. Just whacked it right off. I was passing one of those metal sandwich signs about road work and watching the car ahead of me but I guess my car’s mirror stuck out further than his. It only takes a smidgeon, an inch or two, at normal driving speed. Where I was, even in the right lane, everyone was doing about 40, I’d guess. That was enough.

Thankfully it didn’t crack the window. I have a small scratch along the side door in the back, but that’s nothing. I lost the stupid mirror and assembly. Wires hanging. Me fuming at myself.

Asked a few guys I know who know about cars about the wires. They told me to tape them all, individually, with electrical tape, to avoid shorting anything out. I’ll get prices on a replacement over the next few weeks.
I’m just so disgusted with myself. I've been driving since I started at 40, for 35 years, and this is the first time I've done this. And I drove my sister's big ol' 69 Ford  Galaxie and my 74 Dodge Dart and a 96 Kia Sephia and a Ford Tempo and a Toyota Tercel and our 94 Dodge Caravan...didn't lop off any mirrors on any of them, not one.

I was so disgusted I grabbed all the chocolates I could find after I fed the cat when I came home. I did manage to eat a good dinner from the freezer. 

I just kept wondering why I even went. I did enjoy the service. This was a wonderful elderly woman, a dynamo, who passed on. The memorial was great - tears but wonderful, glowing memories. But then I messed it all up with added expense. Again I asked myself why I bothered to go.

When I managed to get myself calmed down and couldn’t find any more chocolate in grabbing distance, I gave myself a talk.

Things happen. Maybe if I’d have stayed home, something else would have happened. And, for Pete’s sake, it could have been worse. I was in a right lane. Nobody was doing over 40. Yep, under lots of other conditions, it could have been worse. I’m fine. The car isn’t greatly damaged. And I will, for sure, be even more careful than I usually am.

Father, thank you for the protection of the angels. Forgive my moments of doubt. Thank you for helping me avoid more damage than was done. I know you will help me work out the replacement. And bless those guys who helped me figure out what to do about the wires. You will take care of everything - you always do!

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