Serenity is Elusive

I think my nerves are raw these days, and I am going to need to come to the Lord more often for a massive dose of serenity.

My poor sister is once again traveling from one hospital to another. Normally, I am grateful that, even though hundreds of miles separate us, I can keep in touch by phone. Yet the past few days, I’ve found my patience very thin with her calls (up to a dozen a day), and instead of calming her down when she is upset, I find myself buying into something she cannot control and I end up screaming at her instead of soothing her. This is very upsetting to me.

I always loved being the one in any crowd that was cool, under control. I want to be that person once more. Life, however, has gotten in the way.

The one thing I do know for sure is that if I can just pray before I lose my cool, instead of praying afterwards for forgiveness, I could help not only myself, but also those around me. I tell myself that I need time to myself; that is not true. There are many, many people in this sometimes sad world who have far less time to themselves than I already have now. I must begin to be grateful, again, for what the Lord has already given me within myself - especially for my faith in him.

Father, I will try to come to you beforehand in difficult, tense situations; please forgive my outbursts up to now, and fill me with your peace, that I may soothe others instead of inflame them.