I’m Afraid to Ask

These past few days have been more hectic than usual. I’m almost 70. For years, I was a great multi-tasker. These days, multiple tasks require me to take a break in between each one and the next, so that I won’t be stressed. When I’m stressed nowadays, I drop things, and the cat dodges ice cubes. I forget to do some things, and we play catch-up with meds. And I just plain make a mess out of things.

Nights have been troubled because Jane’s COPD has been aggravated due to the cold. Most nights, these past two weeks, we were up off and on, almost every hour, either doing cough meds or the nebulizer, or whatever. Last night, God began to answer our prayers, and there was one blissful stretch from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m. without a single cough. I know young people with babies go through these sleepless nights. And there was a time in my wild youth that I was up many a night for alcoholic reasons. But these days, I’m not as able to bounce back as quickly as even five years ago.

I’m thinking of asking God for a “gentle” day tomorrow. Not a perfect day. Just a brief break to re-charge and go at it again. Sometimes when I do that, it gets worse. As though God knows I can do more and needs me to see that. So, it’s become a head-game between us at times. It’s a challenge to think of a way to ask for something that won’t be taken literally, too. Still, I think this time I do need to ask.

So, Dear Father, I’ll just ask simply for your mercy tomorrow and also for the strength and wisdom to handle anything that comes my way, even if the day does not go my way.