Forgiveness vs. Resentment

One of the hardest things for me to do, and I suspect, for others, is to forgive things that seem almost unforgivable. This past two weeks, my sister has been in and out of two different hospitals with pneumonia. The doctor at the first hospital, it seems apparent, sent her back to the nursing home too quickly. Eight days later, she was back in the ER at the other hospital.

The first doctor claimed her left lung collapsed, she had pneumonia, and she was terminal. Two days later, he released her back to the home. Yesterday, she was admitted to the second hospital with pneumonia. She had severe pain from the congestion, an extremely tight cough that was agony for her, and was delirious. Yes, I’m aware they do not say “delirious” these days - it’s an “altered mental state,” but it is delirium, just the same.

After just one day at this second hospital, she is sleeping a little, the pain has subsided noticeably (still a little way to go on that, though), and sounds coherent.

I think I’ve managed to forgive that first doctor for a bad judgment-call, but it is not certain. I still have some resentment inside because of my sister’s unnecessary suffering. Years ago, forgiveness would have been even more difficult for me, but I’ve made progress to an extent. Now, instead of anger and resentment, I try to pray. In this instance, I’ve been praying that this doctor realizes what he did and that he is doing something to avoid this kind of bad call in the future. I am also praying God sends some angels to protect his patients. Prayer helps. It’s hard enough to see my sister in this condition, but it would be even harder on me to be all tense and tied up in knots because of resentment and anger.

Thank you, Lord, for the grace you give us to come to you in prayer, asking for forgiveness for those who have harmed us or hurt us in some way.