Resentments

I really must take charge of myself in the resentment area of my life. I love being able to help my friends and loved ones. Once in a while, however, I’m in over my head and I resent having to do what I must do. Even if it is entirely within my time-frame and my ability, I still get annoyed that I must do it. Maybe I want appreciation. Maybe I want some “me” time. No matter what it is that fuels that emotion, resentment, I don’t like that part of me.

I know from experience that if I want to change something within myself, I should pray about it. But a little part of me is ashamed to go to God with this when I whined, whimpered, and complained about it to start with. I don’t really want God to take away the task or obligation in this case. I feel a great satisfaction in helping others, and I would feel bad if God did not trust me to take care of these things. So what is it I want?

I don’t think it’s the “me” time. That doesn’t bother me that much. I think it’s a need for acknowledgment, appreciation, and/or understanding. It’s not that folks are rude about my helping them. They just do not realize how much a kind work would help. One kind word about my assistance or caregiving would help me keep going for a few weeks. But Got never promised us kind words. He never promised us appreciation, and thanks, and understanding. He promised us happiness in eternity. What more can I ask?

Please, Dear Lord God, fill me with your spirit, enough so that I don’t seek earthly gratitude but rather eternal peace.