Back in the Fall of 2017, when I had that first lumpectomy, I picked up the oncologist's Rx for the hormone blocker tablets but only took them for a week. Then I called her and told her I was so terrified of all I saw and read about the side effects (strokes and blood clots) that I stopped. I was supposed to take them for 5 years to prevent recurrence. Neither she nor my surgeon at that time did much else regarding explanations except to say they understood my concern at my age.
Now I am paying very dearly for a bad judgment call. I might have even signed my own death warrant. This double lumpectomy I had in April, one of them was a very large tumor plus I had a positive lymph node biopsy. Anybody who knows anything at all about cancer knows that the words "positive" and "lymph node" scream "Danger, Will Robinson!"
My surgeon, after the April 20 surgery, said it was not likely they would give me chemo or radiation at my age. I have friends who had one or both treatments, but were younger when they had it. I was 60 when I had chemo for 24 weeks with my colon cancer. I am 81 now.
The oncologist I had 3-1/2 yrs ago is no longer in my insurance's system. I saw my new oncologist on Tuesday, June 1st. I haven't mentioned it because I am waiting for whatever he says in my next visit on the 18th.
He didn't mince words. I like this man, and if ANYONE can pull me out of the mess I've gotten myself into, I believe this man can do it. In that one visit, he immediately told me that chemo would depend on whether THIS cancer in the lymph node would respond to chemo. So while I was there, he was already ordering the tissue sample sent back out for a special test to determine if it would work. He already did a radiation referral and I will be hearing from them. He is ordering a full body scan.
As for the hormone blocker tablets, he told me right out that it all depends on the patient, whether pre- or post-menopausal, age, and other factors. Neither my surgeon nor my earlier oncologist told me that.
If they can't do chemo because it simply won't work on what I have, I have no future options. Radiation only targets specific areas and of course would kill anything left in that breast. Hormone blockers for 5 years would only prevent breast cancer.
But we all know that if it is in the lymph system, the body's "highway," it is only a matter of time and it will do what it wants to do and I can't stop it.
Point to take from this:
I made a terrible mistake and I am paying for it. I have been paying for it for the whole six months after I realized it was my own fault for not following medical advice. And it's possible I will pay even more dearly for it in whatever future I might or might not have.
So, folks, TALK with your doctors. Don't depend on what you see or read online, no matter how good the source is, no matter how reliable. Talk with your doctor, the one who knows your personal history.
Meanwhile, back on May 26, I figured if the Good Lord takes pity on my and saves my sorry self, I am going to show Him that I appreciate that and will do everything to help myself and show Him how important I know it is to do so. That day, I went back to a stronger food routine. I had slipped back into bad habits. Since I once again began eating more sensibly, I have lost 4 pounds, over two weeks. I am not doing it only for weight loss, although a lighter-weight me helps any future treatments to work better. I just want to show the Lord that I know I did wrong and want to make it right, but it might be too late for that...
I am frankly NOT looking forward to either chemo or radiation at this point. Been there, done that, not happy about a second dance, but I trust this doctor and will try to make it as easy on myself as possible if it is ordered.
I don't plan to discuss this any further until I see him again on the 18th...
Rolling along...
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