I prayed about it - a lot. My friends and loved ones have prayed. And we are all still praying.
But I must also take action to help myself according to what I think I am guided to do.
So, in about 20 minutes, I will be off to my mechanic.
Depending on the outcome, I have no choice but to fix this car. Down the line, one day, I will likely need to go to an affordable-living senior apartment and ditch the car and use their scheduled/routed free transportation. But I cannot do that until the house is clear (de-cluttered) enough to offer to sell. That will take time and effort.
Meanwhile I must deal with “now.”
So I will take my check book. Whatever it costs, I will pay, coming out of my upcoming SS funds.
Then I will need to deal with how to cover that outflow.
I was getting so close to running each month “even up.” Just 3 more months - I could really “see” the light at the end of this several years long tunnel. I even knew that the next 3 months would still be very tight, but manageable. And I knew that "even up" did not include fuel for the car or food or incidentals but there are ways to get those smaller amounts.
Now I must figure out how to cover whatever I put out today and not go into arrears all over again.
But at least I know what I must do, and do it. Can’t wait to see how this plays out...