Saturday, March 21, 2015

Feeling Bad Because I Had to Turn Down a Friend Today

Every once in a while, I get the feeling I need to post and I’m not sure what I want to say. I start, anyway, and see where my thoughts take me.

Tonight is one of those times. It wasn’t a bad day but I didn’t get done half of what I planned to do. Still, something is better than nothing. 

I had to turn down a friend today. Maybe that’s what’s bothering me. She is just getting over double pneumonia and is getting used to carting around a portable tank 24/7 - she’s older than I am (82) but reasonably healthy otherwise. We’ve taken to having me go with her these last few weeks, to help when her legs and lungs get tired. 

My problem is that I always have so many little things (not big things) that I’m committed to and so I am not good with “sudden” decisions to go to the store or on other errands. I had recently gone with her to one of the large discount stores for her toiletries and other basic needs. By the time we left, she was quite tired. So I hate to see her go alone.

But tomorrow, I have someone coming to pick up money I owe him. He’s had me on gentle personal loan payments for almost a year. I’m almost done. Just another 2 or 3 months. So I don’t want to make him come another day. I can’t chance annoying him because of the way we have the papers worded.

And I thought about Monday, but Monday, I must get to the free senior food pantry by 8 a.m. and then be home for whenever this other fellow calls and says he’s coming by. In this case, I do our monthly park newsletter and we have little business card ads in the back and he’s bringing the money. It’s not my money, but I’m caretaker - it goes toward the rubber bands and printing paper and staples and such. He’s got a business and that’s the only day he can come by.

Meanwhile, I will also be starting the April newsletter tomorrow and finishing Monday for proofreading Tuesday. 

I'm sure now that is what is bothering me. I hate knowing she’s going alone on a Sunday. I, myself, hate to go to Walmart or Smith’s on a Sunday because it is more crowded. It’s not like I’m not going with her because of something selfish - these are simply commitments from a while ago.

There’s not much I can do. So, here goes...

Sweet Jesus, you know what it’s like to be here on earth and you know the differences in people, their personalities, their needs, their worries. Please watch over my friend tomorrow because I cannot do it this time. Please help her, if it be according to the Father’s will, to be able to anticipate basic needs. I realize that sometimes things happen and we have to handle errands on a moment’s notice, but this is not one of them. So, please, be there with her, please, and bring her home safely?  

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