No Pats on the Back

Sometimes I hear myself sort of hinting to God that I need a pat on the back from him. It would feel good to know I am on the right track. I wonder at times whether I am doing what he wants, or whether I am doing what I have convinced myself that he wants.

One example is my Busy Person's Prayer Book. I truly believed in that book. I self-published it. I have received very good comments from anyone who has read a copy. I submitted it to a self-publishing competition this summer, spending entry fee funds that I really couldn't afford. But I honestly believed that the Lord wanted that book out there. I honestly believed it was good. Bottom line - I didn't even win an honorable mention.

Does that mean the book is lousy? Does it mean that the Lord was not guiding me the way I thought he was doing? Does it mean I should forget about my little marketing efforts and forget about the follow-up books in the series I had planned?

I'm not sure.

I remember when I was a full-charge bookkeeper and payroll supervisor. Our vice president of Finance once told all the lead personnel that we'd better get used to the fact the he did not pat his top people on the back. He said that pats on the back were needed at the lower level of the work ladder. The people at that end were not making very good money. They worked hard and often did not see any reason to keep on trying to do their best. So, for those folks, he did give them a much needed pat on the back. He felt, further, that the higher level of personnel did not need a pat on the back. Or at least, they didn't need one very often. In his view, the fact that they had been promoted to that level, and the financial rewards, the benefits, and the fact that they still had those positions, were his silent pats on the back.

So, I suppose, I'll keep on keeping on. I'll keep trying. It doesn't hurt to do that. More than that, it is not my will, but his, that should be done.

Dear Father, the fact that I am still interested in doing your work causes me to think it is worth doing; forgive my selfish need to see a reward for doing what I should be doing according to your will. And please, send me the grace and fortitude that I need so that I may stay on the path you need me to follow.