When Life Seems to Get Better

I've written here before about the inner fears that arise when I start noticing that life seems to be getting easier or better, even if just a little bit. When something good happens in the midst of turmoil and crisis and fear, I always seem to be waiting for "the other shoe to drop." I used to say I was afraid that if I spoke too quickly about circumstances looking up, I would "jinx" the trend. It took me a while and a lot of soul-searching and a lot of prayers, over the years, to get to the point where I realized that "jinxing" something was superstition and had no place in God's wonderful and mysterious world and plans.

So, I can say, simply, that for now, things are beginning to look up. I am paying a few bills this month, something I couldn't say last month. I can see some light at the end of that tunnel, where the tunnel last month seemed too long for any light to show at the end. I can say that even if this trend is short-lived, I will enjoy it and be grateful for it and thank the Lord for it.

Last month, I realized I qualified for Commodities give-out's locally, just because of my age, without any worry about income guidelines. I called back then and was told there was a 15 page waiting list. Yikes. To me, that meant at least 20 to 30 names per page, and 15 of those pages - I figured I wouldn't rise to the top before Christmas. Today, they called and I go to sign up on Wednesday, and all I need is my driver's license. This group gives out things that our household can definitely use - peanut butter, macaroni, dry cereal, rice, canned juice, canned goods, and more. It will be a blessing because it will mean I won't have to pay for those at the store.

And my nephew has been working the cab company for almost three weeks now, with nothing but grumbling from the staff about not pulling enough fare ("low-book"), and he has been pushing hard this past week. Tonight, the gal in charge actually congratulated him on the upward trend he has shown, and for the first time, smiled.

Yes, Father, there are things to be grateful for tonight, as always, but these in particular bring special joy to my heart.