Monday, August 17, 2009

A Time for Peace Within

At first, tonight, I thought I had nothing to reflect on, no crisis during the day, a day when I did not accomplish all I wanted to yet I accomplished much of what I'd planned. That is a good day. Not a spectacular day, but a good day.

Then I realized that it was a better day than most have been lately. A household member and myself have been at odds. We have been contradicting each other, interrupting each other, pushing each other's buttons. Oh, we realize it is the financial mess the household is in, and we are adult enough to know what stress can do. Plus he is in a new, high-stress, difficult for him, job. And I am in a new, totally strange, sleep and wake pattern, because of his new job.

Yet, we both need each other. I will be 70. If I stay where I am, I need his income, so I need him to be at peace. He is only 53 and I've called him my nephew since he was a child, and for now, he needs this place for shelter and home. We need each other. Yet, we have been sparring with each other. Setting each other off.

Last night, I prayed hard, after I posted the words about being meek and what it means to me. I just realized, as I sat down to write this, that we got through today without an argument. Now, I'd rather not say, "got through a day without an argument for the first time in xxx days or xxx weeks." That hints that I might expect our old attitudes to begin again. So, I will leave it at "we got through today without an argument." Now, I will rejoice in every day that I can repeat that statement. That is an attitude I would love to grow in.

Dear God, thank you for all the grace you sent our way today; please continue to bless us this way each and every day that we need it.

1 comment:

m.e. said...

Beautifully said. I do hope you find that peace.