Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Lack of Faith

There are times when my faith weakens. I hate when that happens. I know better - I know he is there, listening, helping. But still there are times, several times today, in fact, when I wasn't sure he heard my pleas. I try so hard to thank him almost as often as I ask for his help. But the more selfish side of me sometimes gets a little frustrated and upset when I think he is ignoring me.

It's at those times that I try to remember a story I heard about Mother Teresa. She often felt that God himself did not hear her, her pleas, or her prayers. Even non-Christians recognize that she was a lady of great faith. Even those not of Gandhi's beliefs know that he was a man of great peace and faith. Even non-blacks know that Martin Luther King Jr. was a man of faith and peace. So, given that, most of us agree that Mother Teresa was a woman of great faith.

But even she felt, many times, that God did not hear her. An article in Time in 2007 detailed lines from her letters admitting that, quite often, she felt a loneliness and darkness regarding her faith.

This woman was far more devout and holy and dedicated than I could ever think of being, so if she felt this way at times, I should not feel so alone when I feel the same. This knowledge helps me deal with days when I have my own doubts.

The only way I know to overcome it is to just pray as though those doubts did not exist. It's similar to that old adage, "You are what you think." Many self-help gurus promote the fact that thinking in the right frame of mind creates the frame of mind you want to be in.

Dear Lord, please know that I do believe in you; forgive my doubts when I am impatiently waiting for your help; it is enough for me to know that in the past, you have helped me time and time again, and will always be there for me.

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