Numb with Worry

Sometimes life can hit me in such a way that I’m numb with worry. I hate that. Some of my troubles may make me angry (someone siphoning half a tank of gas from our beat-up old van over the weekend). Some troubles might make me fearful (Jane’s congestion being a little worse, or possibility of Frank losing current job). Still other troubles may shake my normal optimism (God seems to be taking a long time to work some things out for me).

I’d prefer the troubles that generate an emotion. I feel more alive and able to tackle the problems when I feel something because of them.

When my troubles are financial, I grow numb at times. I’m frozen and can’t think of a way out. I know I’ve written about this type of worry before, and I should take my own advice. Meanwhile, I have to ask myself, "Is this numbness from God?" Does he want me to hold off on any action while he works this out? Is he blessing me in this way because he knows I might do something impulsive to solve the problem? Oh, I know he’s not afraid that this pudgy 69-yr-old broad will go rob a store or mug someone.

But there are things I might be inclined to do if I were feeling anything right now, strongly enough, to take sudden action. I’m in Las Vegas. Some folks I know would waste whatever they have left in a slot machine. I’m not into that. Others might take out lots of short term or payday loans. Been there; still bailing out of that; won’t do it again. At least, I don’t think so. But you get the idea. There are ways that each of us might choose to bail ourselves out of a money-based trouble, ways that might not be smart.

So, for now, I won’t worry about this numb feeling. I’ll treat it as God’s way of holding me back from any impulsive and wrong moves.

Thank you, Dear God, for keeping me from making my situation worse than it already is, and continue to give me patience while you work this out for me.