Dealing with Unstable People

I’m sure I’m not alone in having a relative who has bipolar or other mood instability issues. I love this person very much, but I’m at my wit’s end in knowing how to deal with the outbursts. Afterwards, she usually has no knowledge of what happened, of what she said to me, or to those who are trying to help her. She’s angry at us, in those episodes, and verbally abusive. She is not physically abusive, thank the Lord.

Still, I’d feel much better about myself if I could soothe and comfort her. Instead, it seems that anything I say at those times just serves to agitate her and make matters worse. I pray, and I pray, for the right things to say. I pray that a miracle will happen and suddenly, she’ll be all right. So far, not a lot is happening in those areas. It drains me, makes me feel inadequate and stupid and helpless. She didn’t ask for this affliction. It is not her fault. I lecture myself, of course. I tell myself that I shouldn’t feel as though it is my fault. But I feel that if only I could pray the right words, in the right way, she’d be all better.

Okay, I know, reading the above, what is wrong. Yes, I pray. But for now, God’s answer to my prayers is “no.” I’m not sure why. Maybe I’ll never know why. But if I am praying with all my heart, and with love and compassion and concern in my heart, that’s all I can do. If God is saying “no,” then I must let this part of my worry go, and just concentrate on what I can do to help, not on what I cannot do. I can send her cards. I can call her and talk with her during her stable moments and bring joy to her life when she’s able to accept it.

Please, Father, forgive me for thinking you must answer all my prayers exactly as I want them answered; fill me with the wisdom to accept your will.