Looking for Understanding From Others

Today was a strange one. This morning, I carried 8 cartons, 3 of them filled with various types of self-help books, manuals, and the like, from the rear of my driveway to the front of my driveway. My home is 52 feet, so I carried each one about 50 feet, and then walked back for the next one.

My middle-aged nephew would have happily done that for me but I knew that I needed to stretch some seldom-used muscles and also burn a few calories. The boxes were leftovers from a community-wide yard sale two weekends ago. A local charity known as Safe Nest picked them up after lunch. They provide things for battered women who must start over with nothing.

After that, we had a 20-mile drive, each way, to a lawyer's office. Two years ago when my nephew was driving a cab, there was an accident. His passengers, that evening, told all the authorities that there had been no injuries but they are now pursuing damages against him and against the cab company.. Luckily for us, Frank, as an employee of the company at that time, will be defended by the insurance company lawyer. Still, it was a long ride and a bit more in gas than we felt we could afford.

On the way back from there, we stopped at the local hospital where our Friday morning charity crafters donate blankets and hats for the preemies. We dropped off 3 nice big 13-gallon bags of goodies.

All of this aside, my mind would not rest after we got home just before Noon. We're facing a steep downward dip in another week when Frank's unemployment finally ends. At that point, we will be living, the two of us, on just my social security, while we figure things out.

Back to the subject of this post. I occasionally mention my worries to a few friends. Most of them understand that I just need to say it out loud so that I am not holding it all in. Most of them do not mind. But two ladies make me very uncomfortable and I think I must stop mentioning my income pressures to them. They just do not understand. They just stare at me with blank looks. I'm not sure what they are thinking. They do not say a word. I become uncomfortable. I shut up and change the subject.

For almost a year, when this happens, I have felt very disappointed and hurt by this. When they mention their worries, I try to support them. Our family members have never been known as the most tactful, but through the years, I have learned a few things that are safe. I always offer to keep them in my prayers. I always say that I wish there were something I could do, and that I understand. I guess I'm looking for a similar response from them.

So, bottom line, it's time for me to stop looking for a special response. It's time for me to just not put pressure on those who do not know how to deal with low-income worries. And it's time for me to pray - for me, and for them.

Sweet Jesus, please fill my heart with understanding. Help me to realize that not everyone is the same and that we do not need understanding from others. It is enough for me to know that you understand. It's enough for me to know you have my back and are there for me when I need moral and spiritual support. There's no one who is better at that than you are - I am blessed, indeed.