Darkest Before Dawn

A few days ago, something strange happened. On the 9th, Thursday almost a week ago, I had the strangest feeling that I had just turned a corner and things were starting to go uphill, to get better. Yet, how can that be, I wondered?

This coming week is my nephew's last unemployment payment and it will only be about half the others because it's just the remaining small balance. The next morning, we go up for food stamps. We were not able to pay down the non-fixed expenses the way we had hoped early this year. Unexpected repairs and expenses popped up, gobbling up even some of the utility funds. Still, we are somehow managing. Quite a few of you have shared with me how your own financial issues are equally a mess. We all understand. This is why I was so puzzled by this feeling I had. It was around 4 in the afternoon, and I was just getting ready to go into the kitchen and fix dinner.

Meanwhile, these past few weeks, it became plain to me that I needed to update my blog design. I needed to also build some extra pages to highlight some products in my Etsy shop. I was using a template from a non-Blogger site and I had loved it for a few years. But I wasn't always sure how to make any changes. To be fair, early this year they had warned those of us with older designs that they would no longer be available (supported, working).

Then, yesterday at 8 in the morning, a friend emailed me to say my blog page was weird. I didn't get chance to check my inbox until 11:30 a.m. When I checked my blog, the background and photos for the design were gone. I posted a fast apology on Facebook, but some of my blog followers do not ever go to my Facebook page, so this is my chance to apologize to them.

In a way, this was a blessing. I was forced to really look at current Blogger designs and layouts. I did that today. I now have this up and running again. I have to admit that when I dove into the templates, designs, and layout options, I was terrified. At 73, I love my computer but I am a bit less adventurous than I was 20 years ago when trying new things. I could not get a fresh design from the site that provided my previous design because they provide free templates for personal use only. I am slowly but surely trying to build up a lot of traffic for my shop and for other possible income-producers. So it is not just a personal blog.

IF the design I've been using since 2008 had not broken down, I would never have begun to experiment. Once again in my life experience, a day that dawned, but felt as dark as night because of my fears, ended up on a very positive and hope-filled note. It is true - it is always darkest before dawn.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the courage I needed to tackle this today. Thank you for not only erasing my fears but helping me to move forward in a very hopeful way. My worries made me feel as though it was the worst day ever, but then, for you, Good Friday must have been the same. Today, I feel brand new, just as you must have felt on Easter morning. I will always try to remember that sometimes to move forward, we need to discard the past.