I keep remembering times when I handled things for my dear friend, Jane, who passed on at age 80, three years ago. Her final years, I was her caregiver 24/7. When I look back, there were many times I should have done things differently, handled things more quickly.
Then there was my beloved baby sis who passed on at age 69, also three years ago. Even though I was in touch with her daily by phone, I delayed visiting her in the long term care center, a full state away, because of lack of funds. Finally, when I did convince myself I must do it no matter what the cost, she was on her death bed.
Now I'm facing an issue with my sweet Tigger, our 16-year-old tabby. He has been constipated for almost 5 days and we do not have the money to get him to a vet. To do so would mean having to use money meant for utilities. Unlike some folks, we do not have a credit card. We are living on my SSA and my nephew's limited unemployment, the total of which barely covers the fixed monthly expenses.
I've tried several things I've learned about from friends who are/were vet-techs and from online - a petroleum jelly flavored with malt and canned pumpkin. But I didn't even find out about those until three days ago. He is losing weight.
His problem is probably my fault. We had our yard sale last weekend and I did something I never, ever do. I allowed the litter box to become a little smelly because I didn't have the energy after the sale days to run to the store for fresh litter. By the time I got some on Monday morning, he had obviously held back from anything in the box except to tinkle.
I cannot get him to a vet until Monday morning because weekend fees are higher.
Thankfully, the malt-gel turns out to be tasty for him. I squeeze a half inch blob onto my hand and he licks it up as though it were super-syrup. The pumpkin I only started today. I found a friend who had a can in her house and she ran it over to me. I've given him a full teaspoon already. Nothing has worked so far but maybe it's too soon. Still, it has been too many days of no passing.
As in the past, I am so afraid I waited too long to take action - this time, because of money issues. I have prayed and prayed for days. I have cried and prayed some more.
Father, I am so sorry that I, once again, seem to have failed in caring for someone you have entrusted to my care. Forgive me and please do not hold it against this little fellow who we love so much.
2 comments:
Evelyn....you don't think God knows the outcome before He places someone in front of you for care. You don't think He already knows the beginning from the end. He knows, and He loves you, and turning to Him with your concerns and your heart is what He looks for. You have done the right thing~ I will pray for your Tigger! Mine passed away last Oct at the age of 23.5, and it all started because I had to take in my son's two agressive cats because his house burnt up, and the cats were rescued but he had no home for them. They were a torment to my poor old Patches. God knew all this though. She died long before she had too..which is a funny thing to say of a 23.5 year old cat, but she had been in perfect health! God knew!!! ♥♥♥
So sorry, Cathy, about your beloved Patches. And thanks for the prayers for our Tigger. If he makes it home nice and healthy, I will watch his daily "output" from here on in. Even though we never know when they will leave us, I can try to make his days here at least more comfortable than they have been this past week. That, I can at least do well. Hugs and prayers. Evie
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