Self-Pity as a Motivator

I wasn't even sure I wanted to be bothered posting tonight. I had trouble getting motivated enough to get on my knees for my night time prayers. After posting this, I'll climb into bed. Mostly, it wasn't an awful day, just not a very productive day. It was also a day with unexpected bumps in life's road. They were small bumps but big enough to jolt my existence and routine a bit.

This kind of day throws my spiritual peace off worse than a day when something really bad happens. I feel annoyed with myself because I am feeling a bit selfish about the way I feel. Compared to so many others who I know, my day was sheer heaven. My nephew was off work. We had enough of the appropriate foods to make a good lunch and dinner. I am able to stand at the sink and stove to prepare the meals and afterwards, to clean the dishes.

To keep myself focused on the Lord's Day, I spent a few hours replenishing my supply of little crocheted angels. They are about 3" tall and I made a dozen to keep on hand. I like these for quick thank you gifts for people who would be embarrassed by anything more substantial. Just the fact that I can do this shows I am more blessed than others who cannot do handcrafts.

I watched two good films while I was crocheting. I know several folks who only get the bare minimum channels on their TVs, and those are only local, not channels with movies. Again, this is a good thing for me.

To try to shake my mood this evening, I called one of my friends and by the time I was done, I felt better. I rarely talk long on the phone because I usually have too many little things to do. Still, the twenty minutes or so that I spent on this made me realize I am blessed with at least one friend. I know folks who live in our community, alone, and who are not even inclined to make friends and for this reason, they do not have any.

Without going any further, I can see where this is going. I began feeling like I should be whimpering a bit, and here I am finishing this feeling uplifted and fortunate. I do not feel bad about the few moments of self-pity I experienced. Without that brief time of weakness, I would not have been motivated to seek the joy in my life.

Father, thank you for the grace you send my way to enable me to see how blessed I am. Help me, always, to be able to shed a "feel sorry" mood quickly so that I do not waste much of my precious time on useless thoughts. Forgive my moments of weakness and fill me with all the strength I need.