God's Early Warning System

Ok, I've been a bad, bad girl. I had Stage 3 colon cancer in '99, and it had spread into the lymph nodes. I went through colon surgery, a year-long colostomy, and six months of weekly chemotherapy. I was told to get a checkup at least every three years because, in risky people (like me because of the history of it), polyps can become cancerous in roughly three years.

I was very good for a few years. Then, I became caught up in a care giving situation for a family friend, and then caught up in lack of funds for the co-pays. Short story: no colonoscopy in the past five years. I am drastically overdue.

Add to that, I have recently lost a bit of weight - at least 15, maybe 20 pounds. Partly, it's due to life changes, changes in food habits because of diabetes and blood pressure, and so on. I am, however, very aware that the weight loss reminds me of the similar weight loss back in '99.

Yep, I've been stalling. They've been trying to schedule a test since December. In December, I had the excuse that I was still only on one foot/leg because of the foot surgery in November. Now I've run out of excuses.

Tuesday, I got a call from the people who schedule the tests. They had an backlog of tests scheduled at the normal facility, clear across town (another reason I've been stalling). The gal on the phone said they are now scheduling as an outpatient in a hospital less than five minutes from home.

Ok, God tapped me on the shoulder once when the gal connected with me on the phone. I've been "not answering" when I suspected it was them calling; my answering on Tuesday was accidental. Thank you, Lord.

Next, he tapped me harder when they mentioned it is being done so close to home. Thanks, again, Lord.

Finally, she said, "we just had a sudden cancellation and you could come in on Saturday morning at 8 a.m." Yikes - Okay, Lord, I finally got the message. The test is scheduled. I drink the awful stuff tomorrow.

Yes, I am terrified that I might, once again, have CC. Still, it might be the Lord's way of easing my fears by telling me that I do not have it after all. Also, he might be paving the way for them to remove anything suspicious while they are doing the test, saving me major surgery. No matter. I did get the message!

Father, thank you for taking the time and patience to nudge this highly resistant child of yours into action. Now, please, bless me with a happy outcome. If, however, there is something to deal with because of this test, send me all the grace, gifts, and courage I need to deal with it.