Meals, for instance. Only someone else who is going through it (and there are MANY of you!) could understand. It's not just the meals. It's the deciding what to make that will get eaten without a lot of argument or in an amount that won't leave too many leftovers. It's getting to the store for the specials (if you are in my economic situation). It's shopping and then lugging the stuff into the house (soda, bleach, etc. - they are HEAVY), and then putting it all away before the milk sours and the meat spoils. It's making the meals. It's serving them, and then cleaning up. And then it's the doing it all over the next day. And that's just the meals. Forget making sure the ice cube trays are filled, spoiled food is out of the fridge and into the garbage in time for trash pickup.
I really do not want to get into all the other "stuff."
I'm not upset over all of this. I'm just a little weary. Not even tired. Just weary. And I didn't feel like saying my prayers tonight, or doing a post here.
Aha!, says me. That is my big clue that tonight is exactly the time I really need the Lord. The night I really need to pray. The night I really need to post and examine my feelings.
My life is not impossible. I know other 70-yr-olds who are trying to deal with grandkids and these seniors are just too fatigued to keep up with them. I remember about a year ago when I was still trying to be a full-time caregiver to a beloved family friend who was like a sister to me, before she passed on. I know people of all ages who are healing from auto accidents, falls, severe money problems, heartbreaking family issues, very bad health - more.
Father, thank you for the nudge tonight that led me to pray, and then to write this post. I need you in my life at all moments, and I need you most when I think I am too tired of life to be bothered - that's when I need your peace and comfort the most; thank you for being there for me, always.