Two Things on my Mind

I have two things on my mind tonight - one is about our unwillingness to let our loved ones go when their time has come, and the other is my worry over being unable to afford to promote my book.

The first concern, our unwillingness to let our loved ones go when their time has come, is something I’ve come to see in a different light within the past 20 years. I’m not sure if it’s just because I’m reaching that age myself, or whether I finally gained a little wisdom and compassion for the suffering of others. Here are three examples of why I’ve changed my attitude.

Back in 1990, when my stepdad was suffering terribly with lung cancer, he kept telling my Mom, "Dear, I'm trying to get better." How sad that he had to worry about her and us, rather than finding peace and release. That was one of the first times I started thinking differently about this.

Then, a dear friend and neighbor in CA had a husband with Alzheimer's and other issues. She was 76 and he was a bit older. She couldn't afford long term care for him so for six years, this poor woman did it all herself in a dinky little apartment. One day, it just became too much for both of them - she prayed that God would take him, if that was what was meant to be, but gently. That night, Karl passed sweetly in his sleep. Sometimes, that's the best we can do.

When my own dear friend suffered badly her final weeks, her son and I discussed how much we loved her and wanted her to make it. However, we could see her suffering and that was painful indeed. We had to stop blaming doctors and medicines and realize her time was near. We finally prayed that God did what was best for her, not for us.

So, on this issue, I’ve come to a working arrangement with God. I do what I can here for loved ones who are suffering, and I let him do what he must do when the time comes. I pray for healing, if that is what is meant to be, and also at the same time, for strength and understanding if release is what is meant to be.

The second concern, my worry over being unable to afford to promote my book, is heavy in my heart. I worked on this book with God. Many of the prayers, I believe, came directly from him, not from my own simple mind. Without capital and time, it’s difficult to promote. I receive wonderful comments from everyone who has a copy. So, tonight, I made him a deal. I will try, every day, to make one new effort at promoting and I will trust him to do the rest.

The Busy Person’s Prayer Book is something I wish I could get into the hands of everyone who can benefit from it, but again, not my will, but his, be done.
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