Stewardship

Back in June, and again in August, I touched lightly on my need to use my resources wisely. Right now, I’m in a terrible bind, one I haven’t experienced in almost ten years. I won’t post details publicly, but trust me when I say it is really scary. I’ve prayed for solutions. I’ve prayed for help. I’ve prayed to see daylight. Because it is getting worse instead of better, I think God is saying No.”

What do I do now? I’ve run out of ideas. Maybe God doesn’t think I’d take care of any help he’d send me, or at least maybe he thinks I wouldn’t take care of it well enough. I have tried to convince him I would greatly appreciate this second chance to show him I can be a good steward of his gifts. There are so many ways I’d like to distribute anything I get, aside from the immediate obligations that are smothering and terrifying me.

My troubles do not stem from waste or irresponsible use of funds. They stem from shrinking household income and increasing expenses. The Lord knows this already. A few people depend on how I manage what income there is, no matter how much less it is from last year.

I try to have faith. I know about the lilies of the field, but they did not have utilities to worry about. I try to figure out the best approach to prayer. Right now, I cannot seem to be wise or clever. Plain and simple, I need his help.

Father, you’ve promised to hear our prayers and you’ve promised to answer them; hear this one, then, please, I pray, that I receive help and therefore have a chance to show you I can be a good steward of the resources you send my way.